i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Randomize
