I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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