Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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