12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
