Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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