it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My ass is underappreciated
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
