I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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