I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Randomize
