Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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