when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize