I love black thongs
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
