none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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