Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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