BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
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