its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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