There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
