your room smells of hookers.
And success
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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