Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
