i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
