if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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