So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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