that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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