I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
