Your mouth is God's brothel.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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