we have officially mastered the walk of shame
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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