It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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