Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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