im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
