Your dad touched me again.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
