i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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