remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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