He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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