dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
