He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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