my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
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On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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