sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
