Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I could fuck to npr.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
You ruined the universe
Randomize
