i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
