The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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