I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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