Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
