You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize