i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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