it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
that may or may not have been my penis.
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