Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
