I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
