then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
only if we run a train.
done.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
