he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
