Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
