OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize