She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
