people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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