I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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