hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
