just come out here and I will go home with you...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
