I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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