it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Also, beer. Big fan.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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