You smell like stripper and shame
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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