bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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