3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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