He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Duck Duck Cougar?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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