i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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